Sunday, June 19, 2011

Red Dragonfly (continued)

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I finally went to school today.  Kenneth wasn’t there though because he’s super smart and already graduated to being science officer on one of the spaceships.  I feel a surge of jealousy for some reason.  I never felt much jealousy before until now.  But I guess you can say I’m proud of Kenneth anyway.  I have improved on my science and writing skills thanks to him, and the professors even began to teach the students how to pilot space shuttles.  My professor said I did exceptionally well at piloting, so he gave me an award for it.  I thank the dragonflies for teaching me.
         I even overheard the professors talking about me piloting a spaceship, which is rare for a person to do at an early age.  They said that I had a good sense of flight and was already capable of memorizing directions and flying.  But one of the professors—and evil professor in my opinion—said that my unstable, physic mind would get in the way of my piloting, and that I should be held captive as a janitor of a ship or something.  This made me angry.
         I was standing in the bathroom in front of the mirror again.  I stand in front of the mirror a lot these days, searching for the wings I had seen a few weeks ago.  I don’t see any wings now.  I even look for the rash on my back.  It seems to have gone away.  Maybe I had been dreaming when I had those wings.
         I look for Kenneth a lot now.  I never find him.  He’s always working somewhere on one of those spaceships.  I think he works on the Defiant Navigator.  That’s the ship that mainly travels the galaxy for scientific reasons.
         The ship, Universal Navigator is the most important ship.  It travels and tries to discover new parts of the galaxy.  It also tries to find a way into other galaxies, too, but it only found its way into another galaxy once.  No one knows how the Universal Navigator found its way through the borders of the galaxy.  All people know is that the first three crewmembers of the ship did not know how exactly they got into the other galaxy themselves.  They claimed that a dragon helped them.  The dragon had been a traveller of time and space.  People say it’s a real honor to work on the Universal Navigator.  The people who worked on that ship are legendary and people now like to use them as role models.
         The first crew ever on the Universal Navigator was the littlest crew.  It was a crew of three.  Crews are usually ten now.  The crew of three was made up of a science officer, an engineer, and a captain who also piloted.  The science officer was named Penn.  The engineer was Penn’s sister, Gem.  The captain was Captain Lunar.  Lunar, Gem, and Penn had built the ship a long time ago and first set off into space with very little knowledge.  They quickly discovered things about their galaxy, and wondered about other galaxies.  That’s when they met the dragon, Zxero, who showed them a way to cross galaxy borders.
         I wish I could be like Captain Lunar, or Gem, or Penn.  But I’m just an unstable, unintelligent girl whose only talent is piloting.  I heard once that Captain Lunar had also been very unstable as a child, but later on she was somehow cured.  I sometimes wonder if I will be cured.
         I stood in front of the mirror, thinking of the Universal Navigator and tossing my hair side to side.  I was scowling.  Tomorrow I would be assigned a ship to pilot, but I would still go to school to learn my academics until I officially graduated.  I began to think of Kenneth again.  I’ve been thinking of Kenneth a lot lately.  I wonder if her thinks of me.  I heard that he was about to go on a dangerous mission out in space, trying to discover a way to create a whole planet.  They said that the pilot there was retiring and they needed a new pilot.  In some ways, I wish I could be the pilot so that I could have a chance to actually fly a spaceship, but I’m afraid my jealousy would rage if I were around Kenneth.
         I took a strand of hair and tugged at it, feeling the sharp pain through my scalp.  I began to notice something strange.  My skin was growing red again.  I don’t know how many times my skin grew red, but I think this is the reddest it has ever gotten.  I stared at myself.  Though I was growing red, I felt no pain.  Perhaps I had gotten used to the pain.  Suddenly, my head began to throb again.  It wasn’t as bad as last time when Kenneth was here, but it still ached.  An image of dragonflies flew through my mind.  I whimpered, but did not scream.  “They’re hiding.  And coming.  I’m—here—no I’m not!  I’m not!  Oh, gosh, help me!” I began to speak in discombobulated phrases again.  I clutched my head so hard, my nails dug in and I began to bleed.  I looked into the mirror again and saw that my eyes had gone hollow and were bleeding as well.  I finally screamed.
         Holes began to appear on my hands and I found myself dripping blood all over.  Then I saw that my skin was disappearing.  I took my hands away from my head and saw myself shrinking rapidly.  Then my bones began to pop out of place.  I wanted to scream this time because to pain was so much, but I didn’t.  Instead, I stared at myself in the blood-spattered mirror and watched as I shrunk and my bones snapped and my skin disappeared.  A few of my guts even spilled out onto the clean white floor, but I didn’t mind.  I had shrunken down so much, and I was growing small wings.  My eyes went from my old eyes to new, dragonfly ones.  My old body fell apart, bones, guts and everything, but my new body was a long head, thorax and abdomen.  I was—a dragonfly.  For a while, I stared at myself, and then looked down to the bloody mess on the floor.  All I could think was what would my mother say about this?  I wanted to cry, but my dragonfly emotions held back.  I began to wonder.  Why had I turned into a dragonfly?  Why had the dragonflies suddenly greeted me when my last family member died?  Who was I?
         I perched atop my own bathroom counter, asking these questions and feeling so many emotions at once.  I had never felt these emotions before.  They were things like confusion, hatred, loneliness, and wonderment.  I didn’t know what to do with them other than let them out.  But I couldn’t let them out.  I would never be able to let them out. 

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